Legend of the Knightwasher


At the end of the barbarian wars one of the King’s knights betrayed his brothers. He marched through the city, through the gates to the royal castle, murdering every knight in his wake. As he arrived to the throne room there stood the Knightwasher, general and advisor of Crownwasher, the King, and also the noble lord Torl the Redshredder. The battle was short; Darkwasher, the evil knight, had employed the services of unknown washers. The beastly machines in his service were near immortal and their strikes shook the ground.

Knightwasher was killed, along with the true King Crownwasher and the noble Redshredder. Knightwasher woke to the cold and shimmering voice of Death. All color has bled out. It was his last stop before whatever lied in the afterlife. Knightwasher heard Death ask his King if he had any last wishes. The King’s voice was booming, almost godly, as he said: “I wish Knightwasher’s name never existed in that book of yours”. For a moment Death was silent until finally he spoke one word: “Granted.”

Then came the Knightwasher’s turn, but Death was unable to pass judgement and remove his ties to this world. Death’s list no longer contained Knightwasher’s name, so his duty could not be filled. King’s wish had left Knightwasher in a limbo, and only after 26 years had Death devised a solution for his fate. Knightwasher was exiled back on the world and he would have to redeem himself.. or find a way to get his name back on the list of living and dead.


The checklist that’s on all game sites:

  • Medieval adventure game featuring a “race” of washing machines.
  • Physics based combat with lances, one handed weapons and ballistaes
  • With a friend (at least local friend) or alone
  • World shaped like a hexagon with six continents circling a great sea with vortex in middle leading to a void below the world and the whole thing is floating within stars (p.s. you can fall off and die permanently)
  • Joyful pirate ship and sea shanties
  • Redeem yourself or not
  • Meet Death, some Titans, few peasants, couple of undeads and talk with them. Maybe kill a few of them, probably not all, but most should be possible. Maybe you shouldn’t kill them though, but if that’s what you desire, sure why not whatever your free will and empathy or something like that
  • Wake up in a grave, unless of course you are no longer “immortal”, then you won’t wake in it
  • Loot some barrels and chests. Maybe even someones wardrobe. Look around your little backpack inventory, throw some stuff out to fit in the brand new boots you can’t even use. You’re a washing machine, right?
  • Read semi-bad poetry, but poetry none the less
  • P.s. even though there are washing machines, you won’t see a single “Who washes the watchers if not washers themselves?”-jokes in it. I have very serious humor.
  • Drink some deadly potions, meet with Dea-… I mentioned him already? Oh eh uhm… Well create some deadly potions!

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